The other day I was studying on the top floor of my school's library when I noticed a woman who had trekked all the way up there, plopped herself down in an armchair near a high-traffic area, put her feet up and promptly fell asleep. What? I mean, I know I consider my jaunts to the top floors of the library and main academic building on my campus to be part the entirety of my exercise regimen (I mean...in each case I'm huffing and puffing up to the fifth floor (which if they were normal-sized would roughly equate to the eighth or ninth floor), so clearly that meets all of my exercise requirements for the week. Elevators, like umbrellas, are for the weak. Unfortunately this little display of pride routinely results in me walking as slooooowly as possible to my professors' offices as I attempt to catch my breath upon reaching the summit. I still manage show up to their offices red-faced, sweating and out of breath every time. I'm just...so in shape) but really? She awoke from her little forty-five minute coma in a tizzy and opened up her computer for ten minutes before calling it a day and scurrying away to rejoin the rest of society. I worked very very hard to stifle all of my laughs because that floor is supposed to be verrrry quiet. Tangent: Fear not, this does not apply if you're speaking in a language other than English, because English is the only disruptive language! Side. Eye. I give every single one of them the stink-eye when they walk past. My face is probably going to get stuck that way. Oh wait, it already has. Chronic b-face. End tang-rant.
The most baffling thing is that this is not the first time this has happened. Oh-ho-ho, no. Last fall, I was on one of the upper floors of the library when I noticed one of my friends pointing in my general direction and giggling with another one her friends. I was sure Ihadsomethingonmyface/ myhairwasstickingupweirdly/ Iwaswearingmyshirtbackwards/slashslashslash something else that was embarrassing that I couldn't even think of in that moment until we made eye contact and she pointed behind me. I turned around and--lo!--there was a guy (who had shown up no more than 45 seconds prior) who was out cold on a desk. This school is so normal. A bit later, he woke up, stood up, stretched, walked himself over to a couch, sighed as quietly as an eighteen-wheeler attempting a steep incline, and got reeeal comfortable.
Lucky for you, I whipped out my phone (of the not-so-smart variety so you're just gonna have to deal with this high quality picture of the phone screen that I nabbed with my trusty point-and-shoot) to snap a stealthy shot.
I do not understand.
Do you not have a home?
One of life's great mysteries.
One of life's great mysteries.
Creepin',
Chey
I hesitated to comment on this because welllll...I've been one of those people. I'm embarrassed to say I have slept on chairs, park benches, and even one time I took a nap under a desk at the library during the 18 days I wrote my thesis from start to finish.
ReplyDeleteAnd I must defend our type. We do have homes! But it's just that they are so far away. Too far away to make it in fact. We need a nap before its safe to operate heavy machinery. Or function on a basic human level.
I should really start a charity or foundation to raise awareness for those who suffer from this. Its caused by a lack of shame--don't care what we look like, if we snore, drool etc. When sleep hits, it hits hard.
Oh, zero judgment from me for library napping! I'm allll for solid public naps. What was most baffling about these particular cases is that they came to the library solely to sleep. They came, they slept, they left. Which in certain instances might not be so strange but our library is known for being on the antarctic side and those couches are deceptively uncomfortable. Plus there is the whole scaling a small mountain's worth of stairs to get there debacle...
DeleteAnd hardly anyone has to drive (in my four years here I know of ONE person who did) or even bike to get to school, our campus is TINY, and the vast majority of people who live off-campus are at most a (leisurely) three minute walk away. Hence my confusion.
Narcolepsy? Roomie dramz? Faking it? We'll never know.