Sloooowly losing it

I appreciate that our smoke detector chirps to let us know when the battery is about to die. Helpful, so that when our toaster nearly sets this apartment on fire we know something's up. I do not appreciate when it starts this loud charade in the middle of the night and continues upon removal of said battery. I am not about to run to the store at three in the a.m. for a replacement, so if this home catches fire I guess we're outta luck. Also, I know that in my senile ways I tend to forget things but even for me the reminder coming every twenty seconds seems a bit excessive. 

I just youtubed "obnoxious smoke detector beeping" so that you can join me in this insanity. Came to my senses and decided to not torture my two readers and fifteen spambots. I did find, however, that there are a surprising number of videos devoted to explaining how to change a battery in a smoke detector............................ which, hopefully you are aware, is the same as changing the battery in...everything else.

I hope you appreciate all of these thrilling tales and complaints. Because nobody has ever experienced an chirping smoke detector before, and I know you were all curious about how that plays out.

Update (because clearly you care): I walked alllll the way to the grocery store to pick up a battery, installed the replacement, and it's still squawking at me faithfully every twenty seconds. My ear drums and being pierced and sanity diminished in twenty second intervals. I tried installing the battery the other way (because the smoke detector doesn't indicate which way it should go and clearly the first was not correct) and now the little battery compartment is stuck in the half-open position and I can neither open nor close it. Doesn't stop that little...effer from squawk-chirping at an alarming decibel. I'm this close to throwing the whole contraption out into the hallway.

Updated update: Threw it out in the hallway. Still piercingly loud, every twenty seconds. I might need to sleep in the library tonight... (How's that for some public napping, Emily? Driven to it by way of insanity.)