The Rundown

The title... I'm sorry. Apparently I can no longer contain my plethora of Dad jokes & puns. Alas, a rundown of my most recent running (okay, sad excuse for jogging) endeavors. Basically I pretend to be a runner a few times a week. Real runners, you'll probably want to avert your eyes for this one. Just x out of the page now and save yourself the eye-rolls. 

cliché

A. I don't enjoy being dive-bombed by cicadas. Score one for the human conveyors. A friend recently bemoaned the fact that during his most recent gym session the t.v. in front of him was playing some food show where all sorts of gluttonous and otherwise sinful foods were being prepped and consumed. I replied that this was one more reason to run outside. Although mainly I do that because I'm terrified of running on treadmills due to my hourly bouts of extreme clumsiness. Here is where I confess that I have never in my little life used a treadmill. Mostly out of fear but also because that sounds dreadfully boring. But I suppose you could avoid hills? 

which brings me to...
B. I have basically 2 routes that I run. One involves looping around my street (which is a verrrry hilly 1/2 mile) or a less boring out & back that is 1.5 miles downhill on the way there, which I curse the entire time because whywhywhyyy am I hurting/outofbreath/ready to stop if this is all downhill and also now I have 1.5 unfortunate uphill miles home. Usually in the blistering sun because I plan my workouts sensibly. Today I realized that I could avoid this conundrum by running back and forth on a shorter part of this route so that the entire way out wasn't downhill (thus leaving me with the dreadful 1.5 miles uphill at the end). Only took me like four years to figure that one out.

C. Miles: 2 what's that, you don't include your warm-up and cool-down in your already super short distance calculations? Too bad for you. It took roughly 30 minutes over here at Slowpokes R Us, but I don't have a functioning watch right now, so... guesstimate it is.

D. F-bombs dropped: 2.5

E. I have every intention of purchasing The Non-Runners Marathon Guide. Based on my favorite Amazon feature (the one and only Search Inside), this sounds riiight up my love-hate-relationship-with-running alley. She has some choice words for her friend "Chipper Jen" and all other peppy runners. Although marathon running is only maybe potentially in my very, very distant someday future in case that wasn't crystal clear... I like her style already and fully intend on reading this one while lounging on a beach because that little ironic situation is too good to pass up.

-Super fit Chey